Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
