Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
