she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
