they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I understand Curling. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize