This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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