You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
