Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i wish my penis had a tongue
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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