No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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