Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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