Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
