It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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