Banned from zoo.
Again?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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