Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize