Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
