yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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