So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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