I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
