no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
