Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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