So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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