I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
