Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
