Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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