And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize