so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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