I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
