Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
