Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
you never un-have a 4some
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
