Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
