You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize