just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
