you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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