he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
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It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
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I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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