i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
