dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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