hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
