Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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