i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
