im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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