Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
