i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
please don't ironically join a cult
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