If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
