dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
