OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
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