Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
