did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
