He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize