this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
