The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
