Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
