So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
