awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
