this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
