I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
