You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
