She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
