youre lurking in front of me
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
