so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize