so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
