imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
