k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
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He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
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You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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