You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You can't special order awesome
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Randomize
