if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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