I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
