i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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