i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
